Wednesday, June 29, 2011

a letter to Marvel

BLAME CANADAAAA!


Dear Marvel,

Here's how the Ultimate's Death of Spider-Man SHOULD have gone down.

So there's this interface fare down at the college where Peter Parker used to TA for chem 171. And Peter was asked to sub for a techno-linguistics professor down at Engineering (under Prof. Scottie McHaggis). But while Parker was subbing for this flu-ridden phD, his class session was seized by an intergalactic technovirus unwittingly unleashed by Warlock, (that freaky robot alien from the New Mutants) when he had a one-night stand with Danger, that Shi-ar X-Man problem. It was a mutation of the first DTD, digitally transmitted disease. It then became alive when it hived with Columbia University's hydrolab distillation timers and computed a passkey to sentience. So as it gnawed away at the school's cybersystems, Peter (and what little he knows about computer hacking) has to learn quick and find a way to crawl through the computer's system to save New York from complete technobliteration. He is then absorbed by the evil machine that is birthed at the core of the SHIELD sub-base under Lower Manhattan. But as a last resort, Spider-Man used Iron Man's technovirus to link internally with the system and upload his consciousness in it. And then KABLOOEY! OVERLOAD! All that was left was a big bad blob of mess that the NYPD has to clean up and Peter Parker's corpse fried from the neck up.

THAT'S HOW HE SHOULD HAVE DIED, DAMMIT!

sorry. i think i'll go take my meds now.

Sincerely,

Fanboy420
World Wide Webstalker

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